


Elliot Easton, DDS

by margaritaville_antifa



Category: The Cars (Band)
Genre: Dentistry, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 05:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17574644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margaritaville_antifa/pseuds/margaritaville_antifa
Summary: Elliot has an accident which prompts a sudden change of careers.





	Elliot Easton, DDS

Elliot was on top of a ladder, clearing out leaves from the gutter of Ric’s house. It was early April, and The Cars were all helping each other with spring cleaning. It was difficult work and Elliot couldn’t wait until it was all done and he could go back inside, play his guitar, and maybe have a beer or two.

Greg turned around the corner of the house and accidentally bumped into the ladder. Elliot tried to catch his balance but he fell and hit his head on the soft ground below.

“Oh my god! Elliot!” Greg crouched by Elliot’s body and tried to shake him awake. “BEN! DAVE! SOMEONE CALL 911!”

“What happened?” Ben ran out and saw Elliot lying lifelessly on the ground. “Oh god, is he breathing?”

“Yeah, but he won’t wake up!”

Then, as if by miracle, Elliot began stirring. “Owww... What happened? Who are you people? Who am I?”

Greg felt his heart sank. “Elliot, you’re Elliot! Elliot Easton! And I’m your pal, Greg!”

“And I’m your other friend, Ben Orr,” Ben said. “We’re in a band together.”

“A band?”

“The Cars.”

“Hm. Never heard of them.”

Greg looked up at Ben, not sure what to make of the situation. Ben put hand on Greg’s shoulder, comforting him as best as he could. “Maybe if we get Elliot playing, it’ll jog his memory,” Ben said.

“Yeah, good idea.”

The idea didn’t work out as well as they hoped. Ben shoved a fender into Elliot’s hands, but it seemed Elliot didn’t have any clue on how to play the instrument. When Ric found out what happened, he paced around the room, clutching his head. “Oh god, oh fuck! I can’t be a lead guitarist! I’m not cut out for that!”

“It’ll be okay, man.” Ben patted Ric on the back. “Elliot’ll come to his senses soon. I hope.”

Elliot put the guitar down. “I don’t want to play this thing anymore. It’s stupid.”

Everyone gasped. “But... But you love the guitar!” Greg said. “You used to tell me all you ever wanted to do in life was play in a rock band!”

“I don’t wanna play in a rock band,” Elliot said. “I wanna be... a dentist!”

“A DENTIST?” Ben, Greg, Ric, and Dave yelled in unison.

“You can’t be a dentist!” Ric said. “You just can’t!”

“Don’t tell me what to do! This is my dream! My life!” Elliot stomped towards the door. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a dental school I need to be attending right now.”

Ric fell to his knees, crying. “What are we gonna do now? The Cars are ruined!”

“There, there,” Ben said. “He’ll snap out of it...eventually.”

 

A month later, still no word from Elliot. Ric sent Dave to check in on him at his house. When Dave never returned, Ric, Ben, and Greg all began to worry. Well, even more than usual. They decided to go to Elliot’s house together. It was Greg’s idea. “We’ll be safer as a team,” he had said.

So they all headed to Elliot’s house, not sure what to expect. As Ric and Greg watched from afar, Ben knocked on the door. No one came. Ben turned the doorknob and found that the door was unlocked.

“Should we even go inside?” Greg said. 

“Why not?” Ben said.

“Uh, trespassing is illegal.” 

“God, you are such a dweeb. It’s cute.” Ben laughed, much to Greg’s chagrin. “Anyways, you guys can stay out here if you’re so scared. I’m going in.”

“No way! We’re sticking together, remember?” Ric said. He followed Ben inside with Greg trailed behind.

Ben flicked on the light. The living room looked like a sterile waiting room at a doctor’s office, chairs arranged around the walls, end tables with piles of magazines, and even a giant fish tank in the middle of the room.

“What the hell,” Ric muttered.

“Elliot? Elliot, are you here?” Ben called out. 

The boys heard the floors creaking. They turned towards the dark hallway where they could see a figure stumbling in their direction. “Elliot, is that you?” Ben said.

“No... that’s not Elliot.” Ric said.

“David?” Greg said.

David walked out, orthodontic headgear strapped to his head. “Get... out...”

Ric, Ben, and Greg screamed. They tried to get out but the door was now locked. The room began to fill with a strange gas that made them feel oddly euphoric. 

“What is this... I feel great...” Greg twirled around before collapsing over one of the chairs.

“Greg! Get a hold of yourself... Aw, fuck it.” Ben fell over and Ric toppled over him shortly afterwards.

 

Ben opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was that he couldn’t move. To his horror, he was strapped down to a dentist’s chair. “What the hell?”

“You’re awake? Good.”

“Elliot?” Ben looked towards the voice and saw Elliot in a white coat and a surgical mask over his mouth. “Elliot, let me go.”

“I can’t do that, Ben. You see I noticed a lot of cavities in those back molars of yours and I’m afraid I’ll have to drill them.”

“What? My teeth are fine. You’re not even a real dentist.”

“Sure I am.”

“Where’s your degree?”

“Right here.” Elliot held up a piece of paper that said ‘Certified Dentist,’ which was crudely written in crayon. “Now then...” 

The next room over, Greg, Ric, and David were sitting in a cage when they heard the sound of a drill and Ben’s screaming. “Hurry up, Greg!” Ric said. “We gotta rescue him!”

“I’m trying, okay?” Greg fumbled with the lock, picking it open with a bobby pin. “Wait, I think I got it.”

“Right on, let’s go!”

The drill was inches from Ben’s mouth when Ric busted through the door. “Let him go!”

“How did you get out?” Elliot dropped the drill on the ground in surprise. David took the opportunity to tackle the mad doctor to the ground. Ric ran over to Ben and released him from his restraints.

“Thanks man,” Ben said.

“No problem man,” Ric said.

Unfortunately, as Elliot and Dave tussled, Elliot reached a free hand for the dental drill. David immediately sprang up and backed away from Elliot, who was now backing them all into a corner.

“SOMEONE PLEASE HELP US!” Ric yelled.

“No one can hear you,” Elliot said. “Now, will you guys please stop being difficult and let me clean your god damn TEETH!”

David pointed at the ceiling. “Holy shit, look at that huge ass spider!”

“What, where?” Elliot looked up and the three men quickly ran out of the room. “HEY!” Elliot picked up a giant dental explorer and chased after them. What he didn’t know, was that Greg was just around the corner, ready to smash a vase over his head. Which is exactly what he did.

 

“Oh god, why does my head hurt so much?” Elliot groaned as he woke up. 

“Elliot, are you okay?” Greg said.

“No, not really? My head hurts and... Why am I dressed like a mad scientist?” 

“Do you still want to be a dentist?” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Greg sighed in relief. “He’s back, guys!”

“Thank god,” Ric said. “Now let’s go get some milkshakes.”

Elliot watched his bandmates leave out the front door of his house. He scratched his head, trying to remember what happened, but no matter what, he just couldn't figure it out.

"Whatever, I was probably drunk." Elliot got off the floor and headed to his bedroom. He could ask questions later but he needed a nap first. A long one.

The End.


End file.
